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Joey set my last Scotch of the evening in front of me. I shifted the glass between my hands and noted the cold. The Braves hit into a double play.“Hey,” said a voice to my left.“Evening sir,” said Joey. “What can I get for you?”“Jameson’s or something else Irish with a splash of soda, if you don’t mind.”“Not a problem.” And Joey went about his business.I glanced at him in the mirror behind the bar and was horrified. The Jameson didn’t recognize me yet. Please don’t recognize me, I prayed. “Erin?”Fuck.“Erin Sindler?”“Oh,” I definitely didn’t slur, “Scott!” And then… I can’t explain it. I jumped from my barstool and wrapped my arms around a man I haven’t seen since high school. I wept. It was the most pathetic thing I’ve ever done.Go back to high school and I had a huge crush on him but was younger by a year which oddly mattered at that age. There was a party the weekend before he was off to college and we talked in a corner for an hour or so before slipping off to a darker corner. Why now after all this time?“Can I sleep with you tonight sis? I want to feel held and loved.” We have done it before when we were younger but she seemed pretty scared and shaken up so I said ok.“Oh thank you so much sis. You’re the best sister anyone could ask for. Goodnight! Love you!”“Love you too sis. Goodnight.”I hope she meant it the same way I did when I said it back to her. She wanted to spoon and be held which made it the hardest night of my entire life. I couldn’t sleep knowing I was in love with my sister.When she fell asleep, I got up to get this journal to write down all my feelings so they don’t build up inside of me and then just explode. I can’t believe I am in love with my younger sister.” -ChloeAfter that, I would have to write in my journal all day just to mask the feelings. Sophie would always ask me what I was writing and I just told her my thoughts about life and stuff. I didn’t tell her much more because she could never find out what I was really writing.
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